• Eric Bowie

4 Reasons You Should Never Loan Money To Family Or Friends


Never loan money to family or friends. GIVE them what you can give them, but don't put them in the precarious situation as a recipient of a loan from a family member or friend. If a family member or friend ask for a loan, explain that you can "give them something, if it will help", and feel free to give them these 4 reasons why you won't loan them money, in whatever order you want.

1. I don't want servants. Our Bible tells us clearly in Proverbs 22:7, "Just as the rich rule over the poor, so the borrower is slave to the lender." I don't want a servant that owes me something, that is a part of my family or friends. No thanks! A servant is beholden to his master, just as the borrower is beholden to the lender. I want Christmas dinner and Birthday parties to be fun, not tense and full of any drama.

2. It changes the relationship. It could cost you more than you bargained for, in terms of a relationship. When people owe you money, it can make you question what they spend their money on, and I don't want that type of connection. They owe you, and if they don't pay you, feelings get involved. I don't want you owing me money, and I see you in a new pair of Jordans, when you still haven't paid me back the money you owe me. The tension can be binding. Better to keep the relationship in tact and stay cordial, without infusing money into the picture. Money has a way of ruining relationships when you allow it to force you into positions of lender and/or borrower. Don't take sides. Remain neutral by not even entering into that type of contract. It's not worth it. I'm not saying don't do business with family or friends. I'm saying steer clear of the imbalance that is inherent with the servant to lender type of relationship.

3. Giving is better than a loan. Give your family or friends what you can cheerfully give them, and let that be your gift to them, not a loan. You want to exercise the spirit of giving, not the spirit of lending and borrowing! It may be possible to simply give them the full amount they want to borrow. This is quite ok if you have it to give and you give it in the right spirit. Give what you can give them. Stretch and give them a little more, if you can. Promoting the spirit of giving, with a kind heart, can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. So essentially, you can use this experience to show an incredible amount of love by extending the gift of giving to your loved one. They won't refuse your gift and they will be thankful you helped. In the end, you gave, they received and are thankful, and all ends well.

4. Don't add another loan. Everybody needs help sometime and that's ok. But you don't have to add another debtor to their misery as a borrower. You can do your family and friends a big favor by not putting another loan on them. May seem harsh but it's true. Sometimes helping someone is not about loaning them money, but helping them see and realize their options. Maybe you can take time to sit down with them and figure out some alternatives to helping them and their financial situation. Often times, people need advice and fresh ideas MORE than they need your money!

The bottom line is this: You want to help your family and friends, but it's not always best to help in the way they feel and think they need the help. It's always in the best interest of your relationship to give, and not loan. They may not like it, but if you explain it properly, they should understand, and they will appreciate your giving, for their benefit, just as much, if not more than, they would appreciate that loan that they thought they needed. Sometimes a loan works out great, but there is always that possibility that it won't work out well. So it's better to be safe, for the sake of the relationship, and not loan, then to be sorry, and make that loan. It's going to take courage on your part, but be strong, give what you can give (i.e. money, advice, time, prayer), and you will be a blessing to them in the end!

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